The science of attachment: How to make friends
We may grow up thinking friendships just happen--because they often do, for kids. NOT, usually, for adults. You have to reach out; if you spot someone you’d like to know better, suggest getting together. University of Maryland psychology professor Marisa Franco says research shows we underestimate how welcome an overture will be.
Franco’s book, Platonic, is filled with ideas for making friends and being a better friend. It adds up to a lot of work--like the effort we put into romantic relationships--and Franco argues it’s worth it:
“We are social creatures. We need connection to be at homeostasis. For our mood to be regulated for us to feel like our very selves. And when we lack that connection it’s really devastating on both our minds and our bodies.”