Paul Simon wrote Old Friends — the song that opens Midday today — when he was 26 years old and singing with his young friend, Art Garfunkel. Tomorrow, Simon celebrates his 81st birthday.
Old friends are treasures. They ground us, they sustain us, they’re always there when we need them. There’s nothing quite like an old friend. But what does it take to make new friends? As we get older, does it get harder to make new connections that flourish into friendships?
We are fed a steady diet of stories and songs that celebrate the joys of romantic love. But what about platonic love? What about those friendships that don’t involve romance? Do we know as much about navigating the vagaries of those important relationships?
In her recent book, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, a psychologist on the faculty of the University of Maryland's Honors Program, argues that the answer to that question is “no.” “Platonic love,” she writes, “lies at the lowest rung of the hierarchy our culture places on love.” And she has some suggestions for making and keeping platonic friendships, which she undergirds with fascinating data.
Dr. Franco writes, for example, that “Out of 106 factors that influence depression, having a confidante is the most powerful. Loneliness is more fatal than a poor diet or lack of exercise; as corrosive as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day. Friendship literally saves our lives.”
Her book is calledPlatonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make – and Keep - Friends.
Dr. Marisa G. Franco joins us on Zoom from Washington, DC.
