Overcoming Feelings of Loneliness
Al Waller: It’s no secret that more people today are feeling lonely and isolated than ever before, and it’s time we talk about it. A survey by Transamerica Institute suggests that individuals who report they feel isolated and lonely may be neglecting their health, as only 29% are avoiding harmful substances, 30% are getting routine physicals and recommended health screenings, and 24% are seeking mental health support when needed.
Welcome to ClearPath – Your Roadmap to Health & WealthSM. I'm your host, Al Waller. Joining me today is Mihaela Vincze, public health expert, for nonprofit Transamerica Institute®, and today we’ll be discussing a topic that is increasingly becoming a major problem in society today, loneliness.
Mihaela Vincze: That’s right, Al. The United States Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy even released a new advisory calling attention to the public health crisis of loneliness. Disconnection affects our mental wellbeing, physical health, and the health of our communities.
Al Waller: Loneliness really can impact all facets of our life. What does this advisory entail?
Mihaela Vincze: The advisory lays out a framework for a national strategy to increase social connection. What people often miss is that loneliness doesn’t just mean being physically alone. It’s a feeling of disconnection and lack of belonging that can affect us even when we’re surrounded by other people.
Al Waller: That’s a good point—one that we often neglect to consider. Just because someone is in the same room with us, doesn’t mean that they’re connected—it’s important to be mindful of this.
Mihaela Vincze: Exactly, and that’s what makes loneliness sneaky in a way. According to U.S. Census Bureau surveys, Americans have been spending less time with friends and more time alone since before the pandemic, which has only exacerbated the sense of social isolation. Many of us also think those around us are not lonely when it’s actually a common problem—and one that requires us to be there and support each other.
Al Waller: Yeah—I guess this misconception could be pretty hard to detect in a world where we’re all “connected on social media,” and we often “spend time with others”—where we don’t even look up from our phones. Now, can you speak on some key symptoms of loneliness?
Mihaela Vincze: That’s a great question. As I did my research, I was shocked to find out that I’ve suffered from many of these symptoms in the past, while I was juggling graduate school, internships, and a couple part-time jobs all at the same time—a period that I wasn’t seeing too many friends. The symptoms of loneliness include difficulty concentrating or making decisions, lack of motivation or energy, difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much, same with eating—eating too much or too little. It also includes feeling disconnected and having low self-esteem or self-worth. These symptoms are very similar to depression. However, unlike depression, loneliness is not a diagnosable condition.
Al Waller: Wow- that’s rather insightful as I would have innately guessed that loneliness symptoms were probably just “feeling lonely”. I didn’t know it could include that many symptoms.
Mihaela Vincze: I was also surprised.
Al Waller: Now, what are the key components of the Surgeon General’s advisory framework?
Mihaela Vincze: The advisory framework consists of six foundational pillars. These include strengthening our social infrastructure—meaning having more spaces that are intended for community engagement (i.e., parks and recreational centers). Next, there is enacting pro-connection public policies. This pillar includes establishing policies like paid family leave so we can take time off to connect with our loved ones.
Al Waller: Yes, my son just had a baby – our first grandchild by the way…and a boy! Anyway, even though they all live several states away, you better believe we'll be traveling to meet this little guy – there's really nothing like the feeling of family connectivity.
What have you got for us now, Mihaela?
Mihaela Vincze: Family connectivity is very important, especially since loneliness is linked to many health conditions. This brings me to the third pillar, which has to do with mobilizing the health sector to be adequately positioned to assess patients for loneliness and intervene. The fourth pillar includes reforming digital environments. Connection is healing and it’s important that we assess our use of technology, so it doesn’t take away our ability to connect with others.
Al Waller: Yes—that’s a great point and one I hope to delve into further, after I hear about the last two pillars in the advisory.
Mihaela Vincze: The last two pillars involve deepening our knowledge about social disconnection, like learning about isolation and the effect it can have on our health. The final pillar is cultivating a culture of connection. This means changing norms so that we prioritize social connection more as a culture.
Al Waller: I think it would be very beneficial to have a culture where connecting and socializing isn’t viewed as an insignificant activity. Now, how does a digital environment like social media lead to disconnection?
Mihaela Vincze: Studies have shown that social media, despite being a tool intended for “connection”, can increase feelings of loneliness. This is because it often leads to a false sense of connection that doesn’t provide the same benefits as real-life interactions. Social media can also lead to feelings of social comparison and inadequacy, as well as feelings of isolation due to constant FOMO—or the “fear of missing out”.
Al Waller: That’s an interesting point you bring up, Mihaela. It’s important to recognize that social media can actually leave you feeling more lonely and loneliness can have serious consequences on our health—can you speak on some of these consequences?
Mihaela Vincze: Loneliness has been linked to depression, anxiety, and even suicide in some cases. But it can also affect physical health, leading to increased risk of heart disease, stroke, and other illnesses. Loneliness is also detrimental to our ability to age healthy.
Al Waller: How does loneliness play into healthy aging?
Mihaela Vincze: Loneliness can have a significant impact on our health as we age. Studies have shown that people who are socially isolated or lonely are at increased risk for a range of health problems, including cognitive decline. The CDC reports that social isolation was associated with about a 50% increased risk of dementia.
Al Waller: Cognitive decline and dementia! How does loneliness affect our brain health?
Mihaela Vincze: We know our brains need to be stimulated to be healthy. Those who are connected to others are probably conversing more and learning new things. When people are socially isolated, they may not engage in these types of activities, which could be very devastating for our brain health—especially as we age. Staying connected can even extend our lifespan.
Al Waller: Yikes! Can you walk us through some ways to combat loneliness?
Mihaela Vincze: Yes, one of the most important things we can do is to reach out to others and build connections. This could mean joining a social group, volunteering, or simply reaching out to friends and family more often. There are also platforms like “Meetup”, where you can find people with shared interests. You can join groups or find hobbies through this platform. For instance, one of my friends joined a book club—and she made lifelong friends who have similar taste in books!
Al Waller: That’s wonderful. My sister joined a book club many years ago where they actually do read, but they also expanded their meeting venue to the great outdoors, where they also share and enjoy their love of camping.
Do you have any other suggestions?
Mihaela Vincze: Yes, you can even try taking a class to meet others. A lot of my social connections have come from school.
Al Waller: That’s a good idea. Did you know many communities also have senior centers that offer access to classes and other social activities for older adults? These centers are a wonderful way to meet others, especially if you’re older.
Mihaela Vincze: Ah yes, people should definitely check out senior centers. I also love to get out and explore! I like to take a walk in nature or visit a new place. Trying new things can help you meet new people.
Al Waller: Yes—traveling is fun too for that reason! My wife and I have done a lot of traveling. and it's been a fantastic avenue for meeting all kinds of people. As a matter of fact, we've actually been to different parts of the world and been able to make and retain these friends. It's really pretty cool.
How else can people combat loneliness?
Mihaela Vincze: Another important way to combat loneliness is through self-care. Loneliness can affect our state of mind, making it especially challenging to meaningfully connect with others. On our episode Prioritizing Self-Care during Stressful Times, we talked about ways of taking care of ourselves physically and mentally by getting enough sleep, practicing meditation and mindfulness, and exercising.
Al Waller: Yes—and that was a great episode—what I really enjoyed was that you went into the importance of practicing these strategies even when life feels overwhelming, and self-care isn’t the quote-on-quote priority.
Mihaela Vincze: Yes—and when we care for ourselves, we’ll start to generally feel better—and that’ll motivate us to want to connect with others.
Al Waller: That’s a great point to consider—when we feel good, we’re good to ourselves. Now, I’ve got to ask—what if you’re struggling with loneliness and it’s impacting your mental health?
Mihaela Vincze: Then don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide the support and guidance you need to take care of your mental health. Mental health professionals can also help you work through your feelings of loneliness as well as develop healthy coping strategies.
Al Waller: It’s also important to remember that you’re not alone in feeling lonely. It’s a common feeling that many people go through, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Mihaela Vincze: That’s right. So, if you’re feeling lonely, reach out to others, take care of yourself, and seek help if you need it. Remember, combating loneliness takes mindful intention and time, but it's worth it for your mental and physical health. Don't be afraid to reach out for help when you need it.
Al Waller: Where can folks go to learn more?
Mihaela Vincze:
- The CDC has an interactive How Right Now communications campaign that is intended to promote emotional well-being and resiliency. This campaign has many resources on loneliness.
- AARP has “Community Connection Tools” to provide opportunities for older adults to engage in their communities.
- Befrienders Worldwide is a network of emotional support helplines. They offer confidential support to people who are feeling depressed, lonely, or suicidal.
Al Waller: Well, that’s all the time we have for today. Thank you for listening, and we hope you found this episode informative and helpful.
If you’d like to check out any of the source materials mentioned today, visit transamericainstitute.org/podcast to review the episode’s transcript.
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Until the next time, I’m your host Al Waller. Stay safe, be well and thanks for listening.
ClearPath – Your Roadmap to Health & Wealth is brought to you by Transamerica Institute, a nonprofit private foundation dedicated to identifying, researching, and educating the public about health and wellness, employment, financial literacy, longevity, and retirement.
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1“23rd Annual Transamerica Retirement Survey,” nonprofit Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies (TCRS), 2022. TCRS is an operating division of Transamerica Institute.
