The Fundamentals Of Battle: Cats Versus Dogs

As I'm currently separated from most of my earthly possessions for the rest of this week, some of my cultural intake has been interrupted. (There's this great Hitchcock Blu-ray set I wanted to tell you about, and I will, but it has to come out of storage first.) Also, I don't know if you've noticed, but the news is really weird, and we're coming off a time where it's contentious over very serious things.

So this seemed like as good a time as any to engage an experiment I have been hankering to do for some time: Let's solve some eternal, fundamental questions. Let's be contentious over non-serious things. All the full-throated arguing, none of the lingering bad feelings.

Today, the question is: Cats v. Dogs. Do you favor the enthusiastic, spittle-tossing lovey-dovey body wagging that is Dog, or the serene, contemplative, sometimes standoffish serenity that is Cat? Or do you believe in the supremacy of the catlike dog or the doglike cat?

OR IS YOUR TURTLE BETTER THAN BOTH OF THEM?

Cats versus dogs. We're solving this. Go.